Courted by Louis Vuitton

The other day I got a big white envelope in the mail housing a Louis Vuitton catalog. I'm not sure where, why or how the Louis Vuitton catalog mailing department got my name, but if any of you are reading this (I'm sure many LV employees are Material Girl devotees), it's safe to take me off your list. I do not covet--an certainly cannot afford--a status bag. And if I could afford one, it would purchase a Louis Vuitton--I don't think I could walk around with a handbag covered with logos, screaming Look at me--I'm sooooooo expensive! (If I had to carry a logo bag, however, it would the Louis Vuitton Mahina in white perforated leather. It's a little more subtle, and I think it's beautiful. And it's so big I could easily fit my makeup bag, my phone, my car keys, my yoga clothes, a bottle of Evian, a snack of some sort, a sippy cup for Cheapy Junior, half a dozen toy trucks. And probably some other stuff.)

You know what else is big and expensive? The Louis Vuitton catalog itself. It's printed on gorgeous thick glossy paper. The photos by Phillipe Lacombe are exquisite. And I'm fairly certain they don't want you to know how much their items cost. There are no prices--and no text of any kind--on the catalog pages. Toward the back there are mini reproduction of the pages with descriptions, followed by a separate price with no photos, listing item by page number--although the pages are not numbered. That's is a lot of work to discover the one bag that caught my eye costs $2980 (also known as more than two mortgage payments). This is an if-you-have-to-ask-you-can't-afford-it catalog.